Thoughts on Love

Words cannot describe the feelings that evolve inside my human anatomy when conceptualizing the very thought of the word. The four letter word that contains so much meaning in every aspect of my life. So much thought, and so much history. History of using the word loosely, in contrast to when it is used with seriousness and sincerity. To elaborate, there were times where I have used the word without knowing the full gravity of its meaning, almost out of my initial lack of experience and wisdom. For example, when I whispered it to the first girlfriend that I had. Back in high school, saying it to her with the intention of elevating our relationship to new heights. To reach unmarked territory that had never felt the presence of a human footprint. Comparable to when NASA landed on the moon at the end of the 1960's, and Neil Armstrong proclaimed it a "giant leap for mankind". Mind you this was my freshman year of high school, which in a matter of years will be a decade ago. The point is, the only knowledge I had of the word was the deeply rooted loyalty, care, and respect that I always have had for my family members.

There were numerous dating relationships that followed, and one or two of them contained an instance where I uttered that word to a woman. Now after being three years single do I understand that the word is more meaningful. A few of my roommates are in dating relationships, and they refer to it as "the L bomb". It is a cordial ritual that occurs after a man and a woman who have been dating for a long period of time, and the man repeats to the woman "I love you". Or vice versa, because the girl could be the one that says it first. Nothing wrong with it. It is a milestone in the relationship. It is when the relationship reaches a new level of intimacy and depth. However, it is something that takes a lot of thought and consideration. Taking the next step in a dating relationship is supposed to require a lot of time.

This being said, understand that Love is the most important thing in the world.

You can feel it in your bones and in your gut. When you are thinking about someone that you love, you begin to recall the memories that you share with them. Remembering the best conversations and the good times. Even when remembering the bad times, you cannot ignore the good. There are times where I get caught up in my thankfulness for the people around me. The people that care about me, and living with the knowledge that there are people in the world thinking about me.

I love my family and I love my friends. However, in my time being in the natural habitat of my species, I have learned a few things that will stick with me eternally.

People feel loved when they are wanted. When you ask a person questions about their life and how it is treating them. Whether it be a close friend or a casual acquaintance, people naturally want to talk about themselves. People want to be loved, and how they feel loved is when someone else takes inquiry on their life. It shows love practically. Starting a conversation with "What's new with you?", and then shutting up and listening. Then, using your imagination to follow that up with more questions that are related to their response.

To give an simple and less complex example of this, you ask your classmate what their favorite genre of music is. They tell you, and you follow that up with asking them who their favorite artist of band is. They tell you, and you respond with asking them why they like that artist or band so much. Then you shut up and listen to them explain. When they're done, you ask them about their love for music. Or, you take the opportunity to share your own opinions on music. This is the basis of conversation. Asking questions, and responding to them.

What I am trying to get at is both deep and intimate. Consider if you were to ask your friend how their relationship with their significant other/spouse is, right from the get-go there is a limited amount of information that is willing to be shared. Based off the relationship that you have with your friend, maybe they will be willing to tell you anything. The point is, loving a person is not just about what someone brings to the table and what they supply you with. But it is also about becoming a supplier. Becoming a person that truly cares about the lives of others, and that is shown by asking people questions.

Another aspect of practically loving people is sacrifice. Specifically, sacrificing time and resources for the sake of someone else. Say one of your buddies needs a ride to work because their car is broke down. If you love your friend and weren't otherwise occupied, you would be willing to sacrifice your free time to drive them so that they can get to work on time. To give another example, what if your friend was in an unfair dating relationship where their significant other was taking advantage of them and treating your friend poorly? The loving thing to do is to sacrifice your comfort and the image that your friend has of you, to tell them that their relationship is not fair and that they are being taken advantage of. Things such as this are loving to an even further degree.

In conclusion, I think that our culture and the way of life in the twenty-first century have redefined the meaning of the word. The word "love". We tend to carry this physical connotation in relationships. I think that is true to an extent. We all know that the word is loosely used to describe the physical acts of having sex, and all of that jazz. However, I see it differently. We hold in our arms the people that we love and care about. We even kiss them. We share things with them. We forget about ourselves and our own lives for a moment, because we are with these people. They truly make life more worth living. Not to say that without these people, life would be meaningless. But, these people make life more enjoyable. The people that we love may not always be there in the flesh, but what they leave behind is what stays with you forever. The memories. The things about them that you let into your heart and allow to make their mark on your existence. The things that you carry with you forever. No matter how far away they are, they never escape the closeness between you and your soul.