I'm an Artist

What this is to be considered and regarded as, is not some pathetic ingrate behind a computer screen typing furiously because of his insignificance to the rest of the world. To be quite honest, my goal is to not have the world chase me down the street, and invade my trunk-load of secrets. To be famous; to trade normalcy and invisibility for a restraint underneath a huge microscope and spotlight. Rather, I seek only to distribute my vision and my truth to this world that has no choice but to receive what I have to say. The world cannot shut its ears. It has no choice but to hear my voice, and read my words. However, the actions of the world in response is all up to the world and its desires. I have no control over the actions of the world. It does as it pleases.

The world does not need to know my name and my character. Leaving a "carbon-footprint" on this earth is a feet that has been achieved by a handful of people. People that we call "celebrities" are the center focus of our culture, and they have the world looking at them all the time. Without blinking, this mighty pair of ocular machinery records and highlights everything that happens with these people. As a result, these people are held at a higher standard by the rest of society. Whether they be actors, athletes, musicians, politicians, or all of those ridiculous people that have their faces glued to the camera and our television screens.

I want absolutely nothing to do with these people. They know nothing of my existence, and I would like that fact to remain true. As much as I fantasize about how much of an amazing couple Jennifer Lawrence and I would make, she will go the rest of her life without knowing of me. My odds of meeting her are as slim as winning the lottery or getting struck by lightning. As beautiful, talented, and attractive (from a personality standpoint) she is, my life and hers are set on a different path that most likely will never intertwine.

But for the sake of any of you reading this, if you know Jennifer Lawrence, tell her to look me up and arrange a meet. I would love to meet her, because I am a huge fan of her movies.

Celebrities exist for a plethora of reasons. The utmost majority of them, have been given a platform to exercise their god-given talents, and they plant themselves firm on that platform. Our talents and gifts would be a waste if they were not used in a positive way. For the greater good of humanity. Despite celebrities becoming corrupt by the cyanide of greed and the lie of popularity, their talents are legitimate.

Just as my talent is legitimate.

What I am desiring to master, is the art of literary expression. To put my thoughts and feelings in the palm of my hand, or in this case the tips of my fingers, and bring them to life. Sonya Bilocerkowycz, my Professor for Creative Non Fiction Writing at The Ohio State University was the first individual in a long time to inspire me artistically to pursue writing as a profession. She provided knowledge to myself and my peers as to exactly what it means to be a writer. A writer; an artist that creates limitless amounts of self-expression. A writer has freedom to create practically anything they wish. "You are all writers, and what you all create is art." she would tell us regularly. Even when we would doubt it, she would remind us confidently that we are indeed writers.

I thank Sonya for that inspiration.

I have always recognized that I am the artist of the family. I am the oldest of three, and each of us have always been different in regards to interests and passions. I have always been the lover of the arts, whether it was pursuing music or more recently the love for creative writing. I did Marching Band in High School. Judge me if you want, but I was a rock star for four years of my life. I enjoyed every minute of it.

My sister is the social butterfly. She was a cheerleader for the first half of high school, then became involved with the school theatre. That I commend her for. She is now a Communications Major at the University of Toledo, and she is doing big things over there. My little brother on the other hand, has always been the athlete. Always loved hockey. Messed around with other sports when he was younger, but plays hockey in the most competitive and elite atmosphere. He could probably tell you more than I could. All I know is, the kid is very good at what he does.

I am very proud of both my siblings.

I love my brother and sister very much. But the truth is, I have always been different than them. I'm not over exaggerating this at all. The truth is, they are more socially conditioned than I am. Especially in high school, when they would choose to spend time with their friends outside of school, I chose to sit on my parents couch and play video games and watch TV. The reason for this was my unwillingness to trust people. I was afraid of being let down and hurt by people. That fear overcame me and controlled me for so long.

Now, things couldn't be more different.

That way of life is over, and has been over for a long time now. The world and I have both changed a lot since high school. The most important difference, is that I was born again with a new purpose in life. I was given a new identity and a clean slate. Now, my parents couch and television is an old friend that I see on occasion, but no longer spend countless hours with. Presently, I have real people as friends that love me as I am, and I love them without a doubt. I belong here, just as I belong with a pen in my hand with paper on the desk.

This place is where I get the chance to lace the shoes up, and go for a run in the fields. The only place where I am able to spread the wings of my imagination, stretch out my arm and paint on the empty canvas of creativity and individuality. Now, more than ever before am I refusing to change and conform to the world around me. I challenge the world to come down hard on me, and try to break me and diminish my resolve. But this will only strengthen my will and desire to express my god-given talent of speaking to the masses. I refuse to be silent and go on my way without saying anything.

You can take the paintbrush away from the artist, and drag him far away from his home and place him in the middle of nowhere. But he will find his way back home, and find his utensils and an empty canvas. Then, he will create a beautiful masterpiece inspired by that journey home.

I Am that artist, and that empty canvas is the unlimited possibilities of the blank sheet of paper or the blank word document. I have countless stories to tell, but more than that I have a voice. I will take that voice, the feelings of my heart, and the creativity of my very soul to create a whole museum worth of beautiful artwork.

From now until death, I will write to my heart's content.